Often times I hear from people who deeply want to connect with their sweetie and yet, they don’t know how to actually tell their sweetie. Sometimes they’re so out of practice, they aren’t sure what to say or even how to. And, let’s be honest, it can be scary to reach out and communicate this desire to your beloved. What if they reject you? What if they shame you for asking? Its deeply vulnerable to open yourself up to those possibilities. It’s also a delicious experience when you take the leap and your need is met.
Another important piece to keep in mind is our own responsibility in getting our needs met. If we do not know what we need, how can we ask for them? If we don’t ask for them, how can our sweetie meet them? Let’s stop expecting our sweeties to read our minds. Let’s set them (and ourselves) up to succeed!
With all of that said, you’re likely asking, “so, how do I communicate to my sweetie that I wanna connect with them?” I’m so glad you asked. I created a tool that will help you determine how you’d like to connect with them and clearly communicate this desire to your sweetie– it’s called the “I Wanna Connect with You” communication tool (I know, brilliant, right?) I designed it with all of you in mind and Lizzy Russinko of This Unscripted Life helped bring it to life with her beautiful hand lettering.
How to Use it
1). Listen to your heart. When you are wanting to connect with your sweetie, pull it out.
2). Check the heart that fits your timeline: I wanna connect with you right now, tonight, or write in another time.
3). Look at the options and circle whichever you’d like to do. Or, if you have another desire, write it in one of the blank spaces. Don’t limit your imagination, the options listed are a good mix of ways to connect emotionally, sensually, and intimately. Allow the options to inspire other ways to connect, the possibilities are endless!
4). Share why you wanna connect with your sweetie by writing it out in the “because” portion. For example: because I miss you; because seeing you smile makes me so happy; because I wanna feel your skin on my skin.
5). Finally, once it’s filled out, place it somewhere your sweetie will see it.
6). ENJOY your time of flirtation, anticipation, and connection <3
Helpful suggestion: print as many as you’d like so you can use them as often as you’d like. I had them printed as notepads and it works lovely. We keep it on our nightstand so it’s accessible and visible at all times.
So…would you like your own copy of the “I Wanna Connect with You” tool? Click here to claim your copy!
I sincerely hope this tool will not only help you and your sweetie clearly communicate your desire and need to connect, but also follow through in the action of connection.
Wishing you warm and sensual connection,
Ps: sharing is caring! If you know someone who would love or benefit from this tool, please share the link with them so they can get their very own copy. Thank you <3
Dr. Lily A. Zehner, MFT-C is a therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy, and relationships. Her private practice is located in Denver where she helps others connect emotionally, sensually, and intimately. To learn more about her and her services, please feel free to take a look around her website.