Permission is yours to give
The majority of my work with others is giving them permission. Permission to be themselves. Permission to ask for what they need. Permission to not know. Permission to let go. Permission to question. Permission to do things they want to do. Permission to not do things they don’t want to do. Permission to make a choice. Permission to change their mind. Permission to feed their hungers. Permission to get knowledge. Permission to just sit with something. Permission to finally feel. Permission to explore. Permission to fantasize. Permission to not be ok. Permission to speak out; to have a voice.
As you can see, I give permission for all kinds of things. Everyone walks around wondering if what they feel, experience, desire is normal, common, and whether or not they’re ok. And most of the time they are.
As I read this, it sounds as if I play God and I want to make it clear I do not. In our sacred space, they begin to process and talk about things they might not have ever said out loud. When they do, they may second guess sharing it or even ask me if I think they are crazy. Being able to normalize and give them the reassurance that they desperately need and don’t believe is theirs, is a true honor. But here’s the thing, they are asking the wrong person. As I give them what they need, I also gently tell them, that who they need to be asking is themselves. Ultimately, they need to be ok with how they go through life and the choices they make, not me.
What is most important for me to convey is that the permission is yours to give, not mine. Please give yourself the permission you are looking for. Trust that whatever you choose is right for you.
Until next time,
Dr. Lily A. Zehner, MFT-C is a therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy, and relationships. Her private practice is located in Denver where she helps others reach their fullest relational and sexual potential. To learn more about her and her services, please feel free to take a look around her website.