Are you set up for Success or Failure in 2015?
The end of the year is days away and like most, I have been reflecting over the past 12 months. I have also been looking ahead to 2015. It is common for us as humans to see January 1st as a new beginning, a clean slate. The first day of the New Year is a literal breath of fresh air for me after the often busy and hectic holidays and end of year chores.
This year, my husband and I decided to gift presence instead of presents for Christmas. As I tried to think of the perfect presence, I began to think about the New Year and I realized that in years past, Robby and I have always created our shared goals as well as our individual goals for the New Year on our three hour drive up to Steamboat. Since we will be in town for New Years, I realized that we would need to still make time to set our goals. And then I remembered reading about setting intentions instead of resolutions last year [of course after I had made my resolutions].
In short, the writer explains that resolutions set us up for failure as they are framed in the negative explicitly telling us what we cannot have/do while intentions are a stated personal desire that we mentally see and intend to create in our lives; they are positive, inspiring, and empowering. The biggest difference in resolutions and intentions are that resolutions are often lofty goals that lack any concrete steps to achieving them while intentions have clear, concrete steps laid out to accomplish what you set out to do.
With this in mind, I decided to take my husband to a local book store and choose journals together. We then sat down and wrote down our individual intentions for 2015*. We also created our shared intentions to accomplish together. We were sure to write out each intention and the steps we need to take to accomplish each [making sure to write “intentions” on each page].
We also recognize that it helps to have outside support and decided that we will do a bi-weekly check-in. At each check-in, we will talk about how we are doing, celebrate our successes, make any necessary tweaks, and support one another. We have already scheduled our first check-in and I think it’s safe to say we are set up for success!
If you have decided to make some changes in the New Year, remember:
1]. Set intentions NOT resolutions
2]. Write them down in a journal [or create a vision/intention board**]
3]. Include clear, concrete, and manageable steps to achieve each
4]. Make a daily, intentional choice to take the steps
5]. Be flexible and make tweaks if necessary [remember, you are human]
5]. Be sure to have outside support such as a partner, family member, or best friend
So…are you set up for success or failure?
Until next time,
**scroll to the second half of the article for helpful tips as well as an example vision board
Dr. Lily A. Zehner, MFT-C is a therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy, and relationships. Her private practice is located in Denver where she helps others reach their fullest relational and sexual potential. To learn more about her and her services, please feel free to take a look around her website.