Use your left hand…or your right.
I don’t know about you, but I can be a creature of habit. When I find a food I like, I eat it often, like every day. I like to stick to a routine. I like to know what to expect most of the time. Are you like this at all? Do you find one way of doing something and always do it that one way?
So sex can be like this for lots of people too. You find a position you love, you self pleasure in just one way, or you even approach foreplay the same. While this can be good in one regard because you know it well enough to be comfortable and enjoy it, it can also cause boredom. Now I am not knocking the idea of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, but I do want you to consider exploring. Try switching one thing up in your typical repertoire and see what you think.
Think of your sex life and notice if you have any one thing you always do. Can you switch that up? Can you turn the lights on rather than having them turned off? Can you self pleasure with your left hand instead of your right [or vice versa]. Can you wear a blind fold and become dependent upon all of your other senses? Can you allow yourself to make sounds rather than keeping quiet?
There are endless ways to switch things up in the bedroom. Heck, switch that up- get it on outside of your bedroom. Whatever it may be, try it out. Notice what it feels like, how it impacts your sensations, if it is something you want to incorporate into your routine, or not. Keep an open mind. Treat it like an experiment and see just what comes of it. Oh and check in with your partner [if you’re getting it on with one or many] and see what they think.
Cheers to all who will take this challenge and let me know how it goes!
Until next time,
Dr. Lily A. Zehner, MFT-C is a therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy, and relationships. Her private practice is located in Denver where she helps others reach their fullest relational and sexual potential. To learn more about her and her services, please feel free to take a look around her website.